All of us want to stay happy and live a Happy life. It seems simple, but at times living a happy life is more complicated than it should be. Sometimes it’s because we are looking for external people, things or events to make us happy, but the truth is, everlasting happiness comes from within.
From our childhood, we had been taught what to think, rather than “How to Think“.When we start training our Brain to think how to think, that is where the Happiness emerges.
RULE #1 – Make peace with your past. Because you don’t live there anymore
We have our past only for two reasons
- To Learn from
- To cherish good memories
Our past is like an anchor which holds us from moving forward.The anchor needs to be there only when the ship is in the shore.After some time this definitely needs to be released for the ship to travel and reach its destination.
We have to deal with the Past. We don’t deal with something until we feel and heal it.
There are three types of pain from the past
- Guilt: the Best way to deal with guilt is to apologize and changed behavior
- Shame: Share it with someone Nonjudgmental
- Regret: Learn from the mistake and don’t do it again.
when we were kids we learned from our mistakes rather than Judging our own selves. eg: when we keep our finger in the fire, we learned that we shouldn’t keep our finger again on the fire rather than judging how stupid we were.
Take five minutes and write down the answers for below questions
- what are the lessons you learned from the Past?
- why you must make peace with your past?
There is an analogy, the Human brain is that of a computer, each and every incident in our life is saved in our subconscious mind, as a file is saved in a computer. If there is something wrong in the computer file, it cannot be changed until it is rewritten. Similarly, these bitter incidents in our life can never be changed until it is rewritten with the lessons and experiences. That is how you deal with the past.
“CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT TO LIVE”
RULE #2 – Master your priorities
In our life, we usually end up living someone else’s priorities rather than ours. We should set incredible priorities for ourselves first!
Quality time is more important than the quantity of time. When someone asks you to spend some time with them, they are asking for your energy/presence. You should be present mentally rather than physically.
Bryan Dyson, then the President and CEO of Coca-Cola Enterprises once said,
“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them – work, family, health, friends and spirit – and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends, and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life “.
As mentioned above, our life revolves around these five elements. To prioritize, just score yourself out of 10 and see the difference. More the difference higher the priority should be.
eg: Family I am scoring myself 6 / 10 and I want to reach 7/10 and difference is 1. & Health I am scoring myself 5/10 and I want to reach 7/10 and the difference is 2. Now I should prioritize health first and family second. Similarly, fill in the below form to prioritize yourself.
|Present Score||Reachable Score||Difference|
|Personal & Spiritual|
Prioritize and keep Small steps and Big Priority. Big steps and small priority doesn’t work!
After finding your priorities make a TO- DO List.Fill the list in four quadrants – Important & Urgent , Important & Not Urgent, Not Important & Urgent, Not Important & Not Urgent. Firstly finish the task which is important and urgent, then you will get the feeling of accomplishment and continue with the other task with ease.
After making the to-do list, find the time which you are more impactful. The time you do Analytical task, creativity, and Decision making all depends upon the type of person you are(Lark, 3rd Bird or Night Owls). eg: Lark’s are good at doing Analytical task early in the morning, creative tasks in the late afternoon/early evening and decision making in the early morning. All of us make a great impression in the Mornings 🙂
1. “Don’t start your day with your phone(It seems an impossible task for most of us nowadays). The reason being – we enter into a condition called “Decision Fatigue” if responding to messages early in the morning. Responding to our own requests is important than responding to any other people’s.
2.”Estimate the time it takes to complete a task”.
3. “Create a TO-DON’T list as well”.
4. “Schedule each item on the calendar”. eg: write down the goal and intention before going to any meeting or personal events
5. “Focus on one thing at a time” Multitasking is not real, only 2% of the people in the world are multitasking. Single-tasking is much powerful.
while doing all these prioritization don’t forget the “Me Time”.We all need one!!!
RULE #3 – Unlocking your Potential
“Focus on your potential instead of your limitations”.We never know our limits until we test it. Don’t focus on adversities(which we can’t control), focus on opportunities(which we can control). we gain nothing by focussing on adversities. You will realize your potential only when you are put into pain.
We always feel depressed when Our challenges are bigger than our skill set or our skill set are bigger than our challenges. To maintain the flow-state (where expertise meets the challenge), we need to balance both. If our challenges are bigger, we need to concentrate on improving our skill set, if our skill set is sharper, we need to upgrade our challenges. Our potential is limitless, just that we need to open our mind to get it inside us.
Throughout our lives we have been told two lies.
- You are worthless
- You can do anything.
“You cant be anything you want, But you can be everything you are!!!”we all have a unique genius , we all have a unique potential.
There was a genius boy who knows he had some potential within him. By the time he figured out this(he was 19 years old then), he was diagnosed with motor neuron disease which paralyzed him. Doctors said that he would live for a year or two more. But he changed his story in his brain. The person who is capable of typing only four words per minute, ended up writing too many worldwide bestselling books and this boy’s name is Stephen Hawking. He s a genius and lived up to 76 years.
Wilma Rudolph is a sprinter, who became a world-record-holding Olympic champion. She is a premature baby, suffered from several early childhood illnesses, including pneumonia and scarlet fever, and contracted infantile paralysis.No body ever believed she would walk in her lifetime.she started to walk only when she was twelve and got the medal at the age of 16.
There are numerous stories in the world like the above, which teaches one lesson, “when you re-write your story in your brain, you re-write your story in the reality” and WE ARE DEFINED BY THE STORIES WE TELL OURSELVES
Also, both of them know their unique potential and hence they succeeded. If Stephen Hawking tried to become a runner or if Wilma Rudolph tried to become a scientist, they might have failed. They unleashed their true potential, worked on it and they succeeded. And the most important of all is that they believed in their potential
“People who believe they can change the world are the ones who do”- Steve Jobs
One of the mistake we make is , we are trying to be good at what we are on average, instead we should try to be best at what we are good.
Be true to yourself while finding your true potential. Being able to give up people’s opinion about your life is going to change your life. And never fail to try because of the panic about the failure, because failures are just the guidelines.
We have the 5 issues mentioned below, try to overcome them
- You always think you can’t do better (Growth mindset should be there instead of fixed mindset)
- Knowledge tricks you
- You give up too quickly
- Too easy on yourselves
- Untap potential
Surround yourself with the people who lift you up and always remember there are only possibilities and opportunities and not adversities and tragedies.
RULE #4 – Daily Practices
We came across three rules – Past, Priority, and Potential, now it is all about the practices.
Personal development seems to be a vague topic, most of us are not really interested in it, majorly because we never know the importance of it and the influence it makes on us.
Our body and Mind are not two different entities. Both of them complement each other. Everyday our body needs cleaning and feeding. Similarly, our mind needs cleaning and feeding as well. How you are cleaning and what you are feeding is more important, this is what so many of us underestimate.
We get dirty every day, we get hungry every day and we know what to do about it. The same way we get tired every day, we lose energy, we lose focus and we should know what to do about it. We gotta clean the brain by removing the clutter and make sure you don’t put more clutter back again.
Happiness and success are everyday habits.
Habit #1 : Do the hardest thing in the morning
Mark Twain used to say “Eat a Live Frog Every Morning, and Nothing Worse Will Happen to You the Rest of the Day” .He tries to say, Your “frog” is your biggest, most important task, the one you are most likely to procrastinate on if you don’t do something about it. It is also the one task that can have the greatest positive impact on your life and results at the moment
This habit will depend upon the type of people you are. Some people feel accomplished if they complete the difficult task and feel most contented about it. Some people feel energized if they complete more simple tasks, these type of people have to take up the easiest task first.
Habit #2: Satisficing – Ability to remove insignificant decision, so that your mind will have the energy to make a significant decision
we need to take up this habit to recover our self from Decision Fatigue. When we try to make small insignificant decisions, our energy will already be drained to take big decisions.
Habit #3: Schedule your time
Master your minute to master your day. Plan your day way ahead, successful people used to plan their day the previous night. Daily invest some time in personal growth, Invest in your passion and try to become better at it.
Habit #4: Educate your self
Learning is always connected with happiness. Einstein says over a period of time education becomes entertainment, (According to him, education is not just learning the facts, but the training of the mind to think)
Habit #5: Always have positive thoughts
“Be positive, you can achieve anything if you keep your mind to it”
We can change our brain, the most liberating fact of all! Neuroscience has found that our brains are constantly changing, in a process called “neuroplasticity”. Any kind of brain activity generates new connections in the brain.
If we constantly think that we are not good enough to achieve a certain goal, that thought will become stronger in the brain. Vice versa, if we think we are good enough, that thought will become cemented in our brain over time.
We all have the ability to achieve whatever we put our mind to. We just have to believe it and work at it. Have a good relationship with the self and a great relationship with the mind.
Rule #5 – Power of People
Believing in yourself and investing in yourself is very important, but you can’t do everything on your own. It’s not what you know, its who you know
75 years study at Harvard with two sets of the population (456 poor men growing in Boston and 260 graduates from Harvard classes) reveals the good relationship keeps us healthier and happier. Love, care and community are all that we need. If you do not have the right people in your life, you definitely will never care about the previous four rules about the Past, Priority, Potential, practices 🙁
Having someone to rely on helps your nervous system relax.Helps your brain stay healthier for longer.Reduces both emotional and physical pain.Those who feel lonely are more likely to see their physical health decline earlier.
In most of the relationships, externally we are close, but internally we are far. A real relationship is to understand and respect the other person’s values. Quality of relationship is all that matters.
Principles to create a real authentic relationship
Be it in Business/ Personal life/as a Entrepreneur
- We need depth in a relationship
- Start with the right intent
- Genuine desire to be the value of the other person
- Ask questions that build the positive energy (Empathy areas in brain improves by building positive questions, which in-turn improves the analytical capability)
- Be mindful of labeling
- Listening with full attention and intention (When we listen to others, we only do two things. 1. What you wanna say. 2. And how , what that person says relates to you – our problem is not retention , our problem is attention)
People know us for our qualities and not by our success.
“Success is what other people feel about you, Happiness is what you feel about yourself”.Usually, Success is getting something and Happiness is giving unconditionally. Above are the 5 rules to create a happy life. These are very much practical and practicing this day in and day out will definitely make you a happy person. After all, Happiness is the key to success.
Spread JOY !! Spread Positiveness!!!.